A Young person wrote to ChildLine in 2024:
“My parents have always argued with each other, but over Christmas it’s got physical. I can hear it all going on in the next room, shouting, swearing, telling each other to leave. Then I see the bruises afterwards. It makes me so scared I can’t sleep".
The statistics around family disruption at Christmas continue to rise. The NSPCC are already predicting an uptick of reports of over 19% for 2025. The pressures on domestic space as families crowd together for longer periods is often quoted as a major cause of increased tensions. There are also worries about finances, unrealistic expectations, darker days and overindulgence also contribute to increased tension.
The home challenge in this crisis at Christmas is not just to ease the economic pressure or to manage expectations. The key challenge is to raise self awareness but also to improve the skills of managing the shadowy side of our emotions which we all carry every day.
These were the challenges that Don Bosco faced when he invited large groups of feral youth to share his oratory experience in industrial Turin. Towards the end of his life Don Bosco said that he had never had to resort to physical punishment in his decades of face to face work with the young. Amazing! What was the secret of his approach? Firstly, he said, let young people know that you love them. Let them experience your affection, respect, and appreciation. Secondly, make the rules simple, reasonable and apply them consistently. Behind the simplicity of this approach lies a wisdom and a spirituality that can rescue families from the worst of the family tensions at Christmas. Those tensions involve not only the young people but also the parents and the many generations of adults that surround our blended families.
For more reflection on this approach for families, watch the video attached. It is prepared for parents in Salesian schools and continues Don Bosco's approach into the family environment.
Have a good Christmas and a hope filled New year.
Fr David
Click picture for video
A prayer for my family
Lord, help us to see your image in the faces of everyone in our home. Help us to look at each other with loving kindness even when we annoy and ignore each other at times. We are all growing up together, even the adults. We will all make mistakes but your loving kindness hidden inside each of us is bigger and stronger and longer lasting than anything that divides us.
So Lord, help us to look at each other with the eyes of love today. AMEN
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